Extract From the New Novella The Faulty Alien, coming soon.
Cpt Bloodstains of the 2987th SAS recon troop stood up and turned off the Tv set, then stared at the young detective in front of him. “Are you shitting me?” It was very frustrating to realise that this was a true story, “I mean what the hell am I supposed to make of this?” He said and threw the file of paper work down. The death of the Prime Minister had surprised every one who had been involved. Psychotic alien squirrel people, coagulated meson annihilators, it bugged him that anyone who could accidentally cause this much damage whilst armed with a WW1 Lee Enfield rifle should be terminated. “I don’t suppose that there is any chance that this Harvey fucker is real is there?” The detective was a woman in her twenties, she squirmed transparently and then shrugged, it was when she finally shrugged that he saw the same official exasperation as the rest of the country was expressing. “Tell me he is locked away and secure.” She nodded.
This was a bigger cluster fuck than Basra had been and Bloodstains was now in the land of SNAFU again. He had seen it all, then realised that in this current crisis, he had yet again seen some shit that he didn’t believe he had seen himself, and he was there. The detective was now sat next to him in the helicopter and she was obviously enjoying herself, which for some unfathomable reason made him even angrier than usual. “Whats making you smile?” He yelled into the handset, it was frustrating as hell as she had a whisper quiet voice.
“I’ve never been in a helicopter before.” She said to him in her mildly polite cockney accent.
“Oh great so your bloody site seeing!” If this day didn’t improve he was definitely going to kill someone. “Listen this is a total fucking balls up and if you think you have time to enjoy the view then you should get a replacement here fast.” She looked at him and smiled and then looked like some hippy peace chic. “What the hell is your name again and why are you here and not any of the special branch?”
“I’m Dr Jeanette Himmler, and I am the only particle and astro physicist at the Yard mate!” Then the bitch shrugged again and he looked out of the other window.
“Himmler! What are you related to Goeballs or something?”
“No I said Dr Himelier, its belgian you know like Poirot.”
“I have heard of him isn’t he the homicide guy in the anti terrorist section in Watford?”
She suddenly had a very rigid smile, “Yeah something like that.”
“So why does a scientist join the plod and why are you qualified to be here instead of Poirot?”
“Because I studied with this guy Steve, and know him, also I am the only person in this chopper who actually knows what a meson is.” She smiled and leant towards him, it was then that Bloodstains realised she was probably the only one in the chopper that was armed as well. “Also I get on with him as he is not that crazy, if you take Harvey out of the equation.”
“Oh just shut up you talk to much!”
Copyright Steve Merrick 2012