PEOPLE PERSONS

TOPSY TURVY AND TURVY TOPSY.

BY

STEVE MERRICK.

Once upon a time and it was a very long time from now, all of the people persons had adventured off into outer space, as they travelled through the great nothing they would have to scatter space stations like bread crumbs behind them, it was very very important that the people persons called astronauts did this, otherwise they would never have found their way home. Pretty soon there were more space stations than people because everybody knows that outer space is really really really BIG! So not having enough people persons to look after their shiny nice palaces, the astronauts turned to the animals and made them very very smart, they gave them all hands and taught them languages and mathematics. The smartest were the Octopuses, they were almost as smart as the people persons, then came the Dolphins but they were possibly smarter than anybody, so smart in fact, that all they did was play around all the time and never worked. Dogs were quite philosophical in their own way but obsessed with food, Kangaroos just loved to bounce, they bounced about breaking everything accidentally and the astronauts thought that cats were a bit of a disaster. None of the cat stations lasted very long.

The best animals of all were the rodents, Rats could learn and plan almost as well as the octopuses could. Squirrels although mischievous were very technically proficient whilst Hamsters were quite handy at lifting stuff and doing all of the hard work. Lemmings had it all in one package though, short, smart, hard working and above all expectations very clever. Which was useful for the people persons because they had a massive problem with some of the stations. They called them BLACK HOLES. Black holes were always hungry and can eat anything, in fact some of the astronauts thought that black holes would one day eat everything, which scared them all before they went to sleep. You know when you pull the plug on your bath tub and all of the water goes into the little pipe, that’s just like a black hole is, but a black hole would eat the whole bathroom for breakfast and most of your country for lunch. It could gobble up the sun in a week or so but the worst part is that it is always hungry. So the stations that were close to black holes were lived in and worked on by very very clever Rats and Lemmings.

Topsy Turvy and Turvy Topsy live on Bikini Station which is zillions of miles away from Earth. Their boss is Hogarth the wonder Rat. Now what you also need to know about black holes is that the closer you get to them the more bendy everything gets, Light bends, tables bend, time itself gets all curved and even a football will be a bit odd to look at. The people persons call the space close to a black hole the event horizon. Nothing can escape from it because a Black hole is so big that even Gravity can’t resist its call. Lemmings do have a sense of humour though because the call their black hole BM, Big Munchy. So Topsy is in charge of the engines whilst Turvy handles all of the power they produce and both of them were work happily together on Bikini Station.

TOPSY TURVY AND TURVY TOPSY.

AND

THE VERY NAUGHTY MESON.

 TBC